URBANA – Valentine’s Day is when many celebrate romance. But today’s generation of college students appears to be less focused on relationships and dating.
Among young people, rates of dating and sex are down, with more people choosing to focus on career and personal ambitions, said Allen Barton, assistant professor of family studies at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign.
“Aspects of dating, romantic relationships [and] marriage are certainly becoming less salient or less important… and it’s not one single thing that’s happening. I think part of it is an increase overall, culturally, on career and finances,” Barton said.
When dating apps took off over a decade ago, they gave new life to hookup culture, which is defined by the American Psychological Association as uncommitted sexual encounters between individuals who are not romantic partners.
But a 2023 survey from Axios found 4 out of 5 college and graduate students said they don’t use the apps even as infrequently as once a month, with the overwhelming majority of young people on campuses saying they prefer to meet people in person.
Despite these trends, Kate Krupa, a U of I freshman majoring in English, said she still sees a lot of emphasis on hookup culture nowadays, especially during college. She said this leads people who are looking for a committed relationship to choose to remain single.
“I’d rather have a real connection and commitment to someone,” Krupa said.
While in the past, there were clear norms for dating, Barton said nowadays with the prevalence of dating apps and hookup culture, the norms are becoming more subtle and ambiguous.
When it comes to casual hookups, ambiguity may feel safe and appealing as people test the waters and try to figure out who the other person is. But over time, Barton said, that ambiguity can start to feel risky and less satisfying.
“Ambiguity in relationships, when it lasts over time, typically leads to hurt and frustration because people aren’t on the same page on what this relationship is,” he said.
All relationships come with risk, Barton said. But despite the challenges, relationships are the most important things in our lives. And when it comes to romantic relationships, the more clarity you can have from both sides, the better it is going to be.
To foster a healthy relationship, Barton recommends knowing your values, priorities and the type of person you’re looking for.