URBANA — If you have ever had a period, you probably have a story.
Every day, hundreds of millions of people around the world are on their period. But stigma, shame and embarrassment tied to menstruation is common across cultures and international boundaries.
IPM Student Newsroom reporters interviewed young women in the Midwest about their experiences with menstrual shaming.
The following transcript has been lightly edited for clarity.
Dionicia Fabian: When I first got my period, I was in the fourth grade, and there was this one instance — It was maybe like my fourth or fifth time getting my period. I was sitting in my English class, and I was in a lot of pain. I would get cramps that would shoot up to my spine, and as a 10-year-old trying to focus and having those types of pain, you get super overwhelmed, and so I started to cry.
And I remember my teacher at the time, he came up to me and asked me why I was crying, and I said it was my time of the month and I was in a lot of pain. And he said, ‘Well, women every day deal with that. They’re able to do everything and function as a normal human being. So you should too.’ So I kind of sat there and I, like, cried, and he yelled at me because I wouldn’t stop crying.
And then he made me get up and go to this desk that was in the corner, isolated by itself, and told me to sit there and think about my actions, because I was causing the scene for no reason and it was unnecessary. But yeah, that was the first time that I really felt ashamed to have my period, and also, like, afraid.
Gabby Sams: My relatives were driving me up to an internship I had over the summer. We were almost there, but I was like, ‘Hey, guys, can we stop really quick? I have to go change my tampon before I get to this internship building.’ And my female relative just turned her head towards me, and she was like, ‘Don’t talk about your period with your uncle in the car. He doesn’t want to hear that.’
And I was just like, oh my god, you know. And I don’t think my uncle really even cared. I think it made her more uncomfortable than it did my male relative, my female relative yelling at me for having a period or bringing up the fact that they exist. Honestly, it made me more defiant. Like, now I will go out of my way to bring it up. Like, ‘Oh yeah, hey, I need to go change my tampon. I’m on my period. I’ll be right back guys.’
Cher Wang: I don’t think it’s something to be ashamed of. I don’t want to feel it’s something to be ashamed of, but I just can’t get rid of the feeling that sometimes I feel guilty or shamed. Growing up, they give the period a lot of nicknames, like, your relative is here, your aunt is here. They don’t call it properly. That sort of impression passed down to me from [the] older, more traditional, more conservative generation.
And I, although I rationally know this is not something I should be ashamed of, I still felt a lot of conflict internally. For example, I have a partner right now. There are times when I’m at home and I might need him to help me get products. I feel guilty for asking him, and it’s — I don’t know why I’m getting emotional over this — but it’s a very conflicted feeling, to know it’s not something I should be ashamed of but at the same time, like, having the feeling that this is not a very bright thing to be talking about.
Grace Williamson: I think the first time I had my period, I remember I was home, and I went to the bathroom, and then I realized it was happening. I just remember this, like, weight hanging over me, and feeling embarrassed when my dad found out, and I just started crying because I was really overwhelmed. And I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, this is going to be the rest of my life.’
Emersyn Buckley: The first day I got my period, it was actually a really good day. I just spent all day at my grandma’s pool with my — I think four of my good friends. We just spent a long day swimming. And then I went up to go change in the bathroom, and first thing I saw was a bunch of blood. I was super scared. I didn’t know if something was wrong with me. I didn’t know if I was hurt, or, I didn’t want other people to view me as not a kid anymore, as like, ‘oh, this makes you a woman,’ when I was still just a 12-year-old girl. I just was scared to feel judged.
Grace Cesaretti: Carrying a pad or a tampon, like, out in public, the most shameful thing that you can possibly do, like, you cannot carry a pad or a tampon in your hand. You gotta hide that in your shirt if you don’t have pockets, which, how many girls’ clothes have pockets? So, like, you gotta find somewhere to put that when you’re going to the bathroom, and you’d better not get caught. So, yeah, there’s just, there’s a lot of like, little details, I think, in being ashamed of your period.
Illinois Student Newsroom’s Giuliana Means contributed reporting. This piece was produced for the Illinois Partnership for African Women’s Health Narratives, an interdisciplinary initiative that empowers early-career African and American journalism and media students to research, produce, and disseminate stories of grassroots innovations addressing women’s health challenges in Africa.